How To Bribe A Kid Genius
by VioTanequil
Summary: A short take on how Ichimaru Gin met Aizen Sousuke, and why they began to work together. Warning, contains humor. Rated for mild language.


"Ichimaru Gin, huh."

"So? So what if ya know my name, huh? What's it to ya, oyajii? Whatcha doin' here in the first place? Ain't this place out of bounds?"

"_Excuse me?!_ _I_ am not old! _Yamamoto_ is old."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Leave me in peace, ya? Or I'll kick yer ass."

"We'll see about that, kiddo."

"I ain't that little, _asshole_. Don't ya go treatin' me like a kid."

"Alright then, Ichimaru-kun. Let us get down to business, then. I have a proposition for you."

"Hell no, man! I ain't gay or nuthin' like that! No frickin' way! Ya can keep yer hands ta yerself! I don't want no nuthin'!"

"A proposition means a suggestion, Ichimaru-kun. I thought you would be mature enough to know that."

"Hmph. Suit yerself. Who're ya anyway? Ya should come out of yer little corner so I can see yer face and beat the shit outta ya."

"I am mildly insulted, Ichimaru-kun. To think that you would not recognize your commanding officer."

"How was I 'pposed ta see through the dark and see ya? Recognize yer reiatsu? Forget about it. I ain't got so much time ta do shit like that, _Aizen-fukutaicho_. What d'ya want anyway?"

"Join me and stand by my side as I shape a new world, throwing down the oppression of the powers above to climb and stand in the spot in heaven where no one, not even God is standing in."

"That doesn't sound like I've got anythin' ta do."

"Of course you could stand beside me throughout that. You'd probably be my right hand man, Ichimaru-kun."

"That sounded a little too hurried, y'know, oyajii? Almost like ya didn't want me or sumthin'. Wouldn't want to sound like that, would ya? C'mon now, what's the matter? Ya seem…"

"Do I need to remind you again that…"

"Yer not old? Nah. It's fun ta see ya riled up like that, y'know? Why d'ya want me there anyway? Can't ya get some yes-man to stand there and nod at everything ya say? Why d'ya want someone like me who would probably turn on ya?"

"Why not? You're powerful, Ichimaru-kun."

"That's a horrible reason, oyajii. Thought ya'd be smarter than that. Aren't ya s'pposed ta be some genius?"

"I told you,_ Ichimaru._"

"Ya did. So? I'm not a yes-man. I won't just agree like that. I don't want ta be workin' for no old man."

"Ichimaru-kun, with you by my side, there is so much more that we can achieve."

"Ya gotta try harder, oyajii. Yer currently losing."

"Think of the possibilities! Think of what we can do to the world!"

"Yer on the wrong track."

"Think of what we can get!"

"Ya gotta try a lot harder. My imagination ain't as good as yours. Can't do no weird thinkin' or whatever it is ya tryin' ta get me ta do."

"I'm trying to bribe you."

"I ain't stupid. I know. I'm tryin' to get a more lucrative offer, dumbass."

"Think of what we can achieve!"

"I told ya, oyajii. This ain't gonna work on me."

"We could change the world!"

"I like it just the way it is, 'specially since ain't nobody gonna know who killed the Third-Seat, and the place gonna be mine."

"We could rule the world!"

"Ya have any idea how much paperwork ya'd have ta do? I'm already seated, and there's mountains of the stuff. And yer a fukutaicho. Ya should be dying under the strain. And ya want _more_? Ya gotta be kidding me."

"I'm supposed to be persuading you to join the cause. You're not supposed to be attempting to persuade me to give up the cause."

"So? S'not like anythin' so stupid every stopped me before. Third Seat-san was stupid enough ta try, y'know? Which is why he's getting prodded by ma toe like that."

"Point taken."

"Glad ya know it."

"You would be able to kill to your heart's content."

"Ya make me sound like some bloodthirsty maniac, oyajii. Yer gotta watch what yer sayin', don't want ta go around insultin' people, ya?"

"I give up. What do you want?"

"If I tell ya, it's gonna be too easy, no? Keep guessin', oyajii. If ya don't get it in the next five tries, ya can forget about it, and I'll go tell Yama-jii what ya planning."

"Hey! That's not fair!"

"The world's not fair, oyajii. Ya might want ta be careful, ya? I might just slip and count this as one. Ya wouldn't like that, no?"

"You will be safe when the first assault appears. In fact, you'd be leading the first assault. You will have full command of half of the troops."

"At least ya on the right track. But, nah. Ya gotta keep tryin'."

"You and anyone you pick will be safe throughout the whole war."

"Not bad. Three more tries, oyajii. At least ya gettin' closer."

"You will be rewarded with an extremely high post, my right-hand man, the singular person in which I have the most confidence."

"Eh? What ya talkin' about? Ya stupid? Why would I need a high post? Two more tries, baka-oyajii. Yer not very smart fer a genius."

"You will get freedom to act beyond your wildest dreams. You will get to do whatever you want whenever you want, and I will not say anything."

"Ya gotta be kiddin' me. Freedom? Don't bullshit. There's no way ya'd let anyone under ya have complete freedom. Yer too scared, oyajii. No way. Don't gimme this crap. One more try, ya only got one more try before yer get yerself in trouble."

"You will get… You will get… You will get…"

"Mm? What's it I'm gonna get, baka-oyajii? Hm?"

"You will get… You will get… You will get…"

"Hey, I ain't got all day, baka-oyajii. Hurry up, ya? 'S late and kids my age need their sleep."

"You will get…"

"'Fraid I didn't catch that. Want ta repeat yerself?"

"Youwillget…"

"Still can't hear ya."

_"Youwillgetchocolate."  
_  
"So when do I start, Aizen-taicho?"


End file.
